Blogs:

The BlockTales That Never Was: Part 2
by RJ of BlockTales

Another week, another part of this documentary. What documentary? Why! It's...

The BlockTales That Never Was!

Part 2: In all seriousness.

Hitler Song

Yes, that's meant to be Hitler singing a parody of the Dad's Army Theme Tune...

Now, BlockTales is hardly known for being serious. Who would want to tune into a webcomic or even a brickcomic that didn't even have any jokes, yet had no story either!?That's almost as bad as having a brickcomic with bad jokes and no story! That's another reason why TBTTNW! was canned. "Why?" you may ask, "Surely even TBTTNW! isn't supid enough to do that!" Well, in actual fact. There was actually 9 strips belonging to TBTTNW!, that I have only just remembered... It was called:

Movies.

No, not BlrickFilms, these were individual movies made in brickcomic form. And although I did have some interesting ideas, such as Lady and the Tramp (a tramp being shot for kissing a baroness.) but then there was the first film. I have the first five strips here. The film in question?

 

B3

Oh dear...

b3

A mafia boss and his bodyguard walk down a dark Gotham alley, complete with visible flooring...

b3

Oh no! You're being mugged!

b3

What part of Mafia Boss and his Bodyguard don't you understand?

b3

And now, in a dramatic cliffhanger to the first strip, Batman is going to kill you...

b3

And now we return for Episode 2, where they are being sniped by Batman, already in progress. God, it takes a while to pull triggers these days doesn't it...

b3

But look! Another Batman is leaping to attack Sniper-Batman!

b3

With all the moves Batman learnt from being a Ninja, you would think he could do better than a bellyflop...

b3

Ah, that's the real Batman, it seems Sniper-Batman was one of those Hockey-Pad Batmen from The Dark Knight.

b3

And as we see Episode 2 draw to a close, Batman prepares his dive.

b3

Aaaand... we're back! Aaaand... Batman is still diving?

b3

Good god! Not only can Batman breath in space, but he can walk on black walls whilst diving!

b3

God, he's just gone and bellyflopped the Mafia boss, breaking nose and making him drop his umbrella and fish?

b3

*Gasp!* It's Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot! Soon to be known as, The Penguin!

b3

Meanwhile, the bodyguard is looting the corpse of... You killed Troy! You Bastards!

b3

The Bodyguard looks around and grins just like all Mafia bodyguards who are about to get pummelled.

b3

"I'm Batman."

b3

And the fifth and final episode ends with the bodyguard going to shoot Batman.

-

I think the plot was actually as good as a 11-year-old could create a superhero/crime/thriller. Basically, after this little tussle, it cuts to The Joker in Arkham Asylum, talking to Dr Harleen Quinzen. It ends up with The Joker gassing Quinzen and seducing her. With his recently created sidekick, Harley Quinn, he breaks out Scarecrow and heads off to steal the corpse of Harvey Dent/Two-Face. Then, a CIA agent named Edward Nigma is kidnapped by The Joker because The Joker wants Catwoman to get away with her crimes. Edward Nigma goes insane when left with a book of riddles. Cobblepot goes to get his nose done after his tussle with The Batman and is intercepted by The Joker, who proceeds to botch Cobblepot's nose job because "Pinochio" should keep his nose in his own business. The Penguin wants vengeance against both Batman and the Joker. The kidnaps a ventriloquist and forces his to run a pirate news TV show featuring him and "Scarface", the corpse of Harvey Dent. Batman gets his own little Robin to help him and in the end, everyone hates The Joker, Batman uses the line: "I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you" and everyone beats the crap out of The Joker.

The End.

-

Now, I have to ask my 11-year-old self: "Why so serious?"

Tune in next week, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!

The BlockTales That Never Was: Part 1
by RJ of BlockTales

By reading this post, you probably know what BlockTales is. The best comedy Brick-Comic that exists. Brilliant. But what was BlockTales before it was the masterpiece of today? Find out now in:

The BlockTales That Never Was!

Part 1: In a word, bad!

It wasted many months of my time. But it never disappeared. I deleted it's original site (www.blocktales.webs.com) and even destroyed all the sets and characters. But still, engraved in history, was the pictures that belonged in the Recycle Bin. Now, I show you these pictures. Well, the ones I didn't get rid for being complete rubbish.

Harry Hill

The budget of TBTTNW! was hardly large...

Now, before I tell you about TBTTNW!, I must tell you a story. I had never heard of scheduled pre-posting (although I just made that name up) which is actually how I post BlockTales: Mk2 and decided I would make the comic once a week. But since they were such crap, I decided this wasn't fair, so what did I do. I posted 8 strips a weekend. One for each of my 8 comics. Now, you must be wondering, what  were those 8 comics? Well, for our first pictures, I have the avatars for each one!

RandomTales

RandomTales

A comic featuring a current BlockTales like stroyline. The main character (as shown here) is an 'Angster. My pre-teen word for someone with angst.

-

SuperheroTales

Tommy Quantum

A rip off of The Adventures of the S-Team. What was I thinking? Shown here is Tommy Quantum, your typical flying brick.

-

Sci-FiTales

LG

A rip-off of Legostar Galactica that had a rather promising story. Pictured here is the ships captain, a Space Knight.

-

FantasyTales

PastTales

Your typical Dungeons & Dragons, Lord of the Rings, general Fantasy comic. In hindsight - a rip-off of Glomshire Knights.

-

Harry Hill's BlockTales Review

Harry Hill BT

Harry Hill reviews the last week of BlockTales by talking to the cast and crew. A rip-off of Late Night with Boba Fett.

-

Jar Jar Binks' Die-o-rama

Jar Jar

Every week, Jar Jar Binks dies in a good way! The first section of BlockTales.

-

OtherTales

OtherTales

For all those miscellaneous Tales that weren't good enough to get their own section.

-

YourTales

YourTales

Guest Strips. Every week. Good luck with that mate.

-

So, that's it for this issue. See you soon.

The BCN Build a Minifig - Mobile Contest
by RJ of BlockTales

BCN: Build A Minifig-Mobile Contest

Yep, from the same forum that brought you the Annual Caption Contest - It's the Build a Minifig - Mobile contest. Sadly, I couldn't judge this one but it's rules are simple: Build a vehicle for one the new Series 2 Collectable Minifigures to drive! If you win in your category, you win the minifigure and you are legible for the Grand Prize!

Also, whenever you refresh the page the banner changes!

My Brute challenges yours!
by RJ of BlockTales

I found this delightful new flash game on the interwebs. Well, it's not really a game, but a method of settling fights. You create a character and challenge me at this link and then become my pupil. Eventually, you will get more weapons, attributes and maybe even your own pupils!

Set Reviews: 7592 - Construct-a-Buzz
by RJ of BlockTales

SR-small

At the beginning of the year (Or earlier in US Toys 'R' Us') a new deal with Disney spouted out the Toy Story line of toys. One of the larger sets in the first wave is this weeks review. It's 7592 - Construct-a-Buzz!

buzz1

Buzz is essentially a Maxi-fig, as shown by his joint-less elbows. That button isn't a sticker by the way.

buzz2

The centre Star Command Logo isn't either, although the Blue/Green/Red Buttons, the Name-tag and the Big Red Button are.

buzz3

There is a exclusive recoloured piece in the set although it's invisible when Buzz isn't split into two.

buzz4

The Martian Minifig is also very welcome.

buzz5

The spare parts, though fairly standard pieces, are saved by their rare colours.

buzz8

To infinite and beyond!

buzz7

The Verdict

This set shouldn't really count as a set. It is more for show than for play and by now you could get the Martian in a variety of different sets. It's not a bad value for money either. The set is completely down to opinion from now on.